Five types of seafood you should avoid

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Eat This, Not That

by David Zinczenko with Matt Goulding

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If you’re over the age of 12, you’ve probably had more than a few dearly held beliefs ruined by reality. Like when you discovered it was Mom and Dad, not Santa, who were orchestrating the magic of Christmas. Or when you spent hours watching “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding” over and over again, only to learn that keeping up with this Kardashian was a waste of time. As they say, reality bites.

Well, folks, I hate to do this to you, but . . .

Not all fish are good for you.

Last year, the USDA increased its seafood recommendation to 8 ounces per week, and that has led many to believe that all fish are equally smart choices. But some are so high in contaminants like mercury that their health benefits are outweighed by their health risks. Others are flown in from halfway around the world, but given labels that make you think they were caught fresh earlier that morning. And still others are raised in filthy, overcrowed pools and loaded up with chemicals to keep them alive.

So let me shed light on some very rough waters. Put these fish at the top of your don't-eat list and you'll avoid most of the troubles of the world's fishing industry.

#1: ATLANTIC BLUEFIN TUNA

Why It's Bad: A recent analysis by The New York Times found that Atlantic bluefin tuna has the highest levels of mercury of any type of tuna. To top it off, bluefin tuna are severely overharvested, to the point of reaching near-extinction levels, and are considered "critically endangered" by the International Union for Conservation of Nature. Rather than trying to navigate the ever-changing recommendations for which tuna is best, consider giving it up altogether. But if you can't . . .

Eat This Instead: Opt for American or Canadian (but not imported!) albacore tuna, which is caught while it's young and doesn't contain as high levels of mercury.

YOUR NEW SHOPPING LIST! There are more than 45,000 options in the average supermarket. Some will wreck your waistline; some will shrink it. The easiest way to choose: Go ahead and put anything from our newly updated list of the 125 Best Supermarket Foods in your shopping cart—and watch the pounds melt away! (And check out Cook This, Not That! Easy & Awesome 350-Calorie Meals to save time and money!)

At age 102, this therapist is still psyched

Hedda Bolgar’s job just doesn’t get old. Seeing patients four days a week, the 102-year-old psychologist and psychoanalyst also trains new therapists and has scheduled lectures well into next year.

“I love working with patients,” Bolgar told TODAY.com. “I love to listen to them. I love to understand – even when they’re not saying it.”

Bolgar is the oldest living member of the American Psychology Association. In September, she flew to Washington D.C. to receive an award for America’s Outstanding Oldest Worker by Experience Works, a non-profit that helps senior workers.

“She doesn’t let grass grow on her feet,” says Peter Wolson, a psychologist and psychoanalyst who practices and trains students at the Los Angeles Institute and Society for Psychoanalytic Studies, an institute Bolgar co-founded in 1970.

In fact, she’s so busy friends have suggested she “get off the horse”, Wolson says. But the sharp, healthy and happy Bolgar doesn’t see why. She’s eternally fascinated by the unconscious, where she says pesky problems hide.

Lived through war, famine — and loss of her spouse “Ultimately what really interests me is to see people change and have better lives – and feel liberated,” says Bolgar, who says she thinks of her patients even when she’s not with them.

She practices from her home in the tony Brentwood area of Los Angeles, scheduling patients so they never run into each other (people talk). Patients can get cozy in a chair while she sits on a beige couch in her office adorned with flowers and a view of the backyard pool.

Switzerland in 1909, usually relates in some way to patients she meets – having lived through war, famine, leaving her country, parents’ divorce and loss of her spouse, friends and pets (she’s kept cats for 40 years and just adopted kittens). The best thing she has done in life, she once said, was marrying her husband, who she calls “the love of my life."

“When he died, it was really, for many years, the end of the world. My mourning was endless. It seemed endless, until one day I decided I was alive,” Bolgar says in “The Beauty of Aging”, an upcoming film about vivacious women over 80 (http://www.beautyofaging.com).

While her patients’ tussles can link to a difficult childhood, Bolgar, who ultimately grew up in Hungary and Austria, can’t even recall fighting at home. She speaks admiringly of her mother, a journalist, and her father, a political ambassador. Bolgar attributes her longevity, in part, to her genes: Her mom lived to 96. (She’s also been a vegetarian since 14, loves sleep and doesn’t get “anxious about things that haven’t happened.")

'Marked my life in a way' Bolgar traces her penchant for protecting others to first grade. Another teacher dragged a second grader to her class and asked a question that stumped the older student. Bolgar later boasted to her mother that she supplied the correct answer.

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“I went home and felt very proud,” Bolgar says. “She listened. And then asked, ‘Did it ever occur how that other child must have felt?’ I was 6. I’ve never forgotten it. I always thought I was glad she said it. It marked my life in a way.”

Of course, sometimes it happens that the psychotherapist only shares one commonality with a patient: “being human”. That includes a police officer who left the force due to his violent tendencies. The patient, to Bolgar’s surprise, kept his appointments – but to rant, sharing sick hopes of having more altercations.

“’You must have had a terrible childhood,’” Bolgar recalls telling the ex-police officer one day, after she’d listened extensively. “It was awful. Then he started telling me how awful it was. I was grateful I never had any of those experiences. Everything happened that should never have happened. Then he started to change. He found a girl who was lovely.”

'Three weeks to get a dinner date' Bolgar, who left the day Hitler marched into Austria, says she’s met a plethora of lovely people herself, especially being welcomed into homes when she first came to the U.S. at 28.

Nived Ravikumar for TODAY.com

Bolgar sees patients four days a week in her Los Angeles home.

Bolgar now generously welcomes people into her home, Wolson says, throwing soirees in her home that has Old European charm with vintage books, paintings and flowers, which she adores, indoors as well as out. She’s always outfitted in high fashion, statement earrings and necklace – and a smile.

Feds use more unmanned aircraft to secure border

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas (AP) — Two Border Patrol agentswalked by a patch of brush on a remote ranch and saw nothing. But 19,000 feet overhead in the night sky, a Predator unmanned aircraft kept its heat-sensing eye on the spot.

In an operations center about 80 miles away, all eyes were on a suspicious dark cluster on a video screen. Moments later, the drone operators triggered the craft's infrared beam and pointed the agents directly to the undergrowth where two silent figures were hiding.

Last week's mission was just another night out for a Predator program that is playing a larger role in the nation's border security as the U.S. Customs and Border Protection adds to its force ofunmanned aircraft. The agency received its second Predator B aircraft in Texas last month and will add its sixth overall on the Southwest border when another is based in Arizona by the end of the year.

The aircraft are credited with apprehending more than 7,500 people since they were deployed six years ago. They bring the latest in military technology to one of the oldest cat-and-mouse pursuits in the country. But on the border, even sophisticated devices struggle with the weather and conditions — just as humans do.

"I'm trying to mark. I'm looking for a hole in the clouds," said an exasperated operator as he lost his video image of a "hotspot" in a stand of trees. Cloud cover, along with crosswinds and rain, are the drones' enemies.

The aircraft can remain airborne for 30 hours though missions typically run eight or nine hours with the ground crews rotating in the control trailers. Smugglers of humans, drugs and guns are the chief prey.

The Predators, which were being used in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, were introduced on the border in 2005, the year before Mexican President Felipe Calderon declared war on his country's drug gangs and violence along the border exploded. Since then, the aircraft have logged more than 10,000 flight hours and aided in intercepting 46,600 pounds of illegal drugs.

"It's like any other law enforcement platform," said Lothar Eckardt, director of the Office of Air and Marine's Predator operation housed at Naval Air Station Corpus Christi. "No different than a helicopter."

A Predator system — the plane, sensors, control consoles and antennas — costs $18.5 million. The craft's 66-foot wingspan stretches out from a relatively small body supported by spindly landing gear, making them appear almost insect-like. A single propeller powers them from behind, allowing for relatively quiet flights.

Inside the ground control trailer, a pilot and sensor operator sit side by side at consoles that include four screens each, a joystick, keyboard, several levers and rudder pedals. The pilot does the flying. The sensor operator works the infrared equipment and other technology under the aircraft's nose.

Some question whether the remotely-piloted aircrafts' impact justifies the price.

"The big knock on the UAS (unmanned aircraft systems) program ... is that it's so expensive," said T.J. Bonner, former president of the National Border Patrol Council, the agents' union. He said the money would be better spent on more boots on the ground and manned aircraft.

The Predator's touchiest missions are those that take it across the border into Mexico. A 2008 U.S. diplomatic cable posted by Wikileaks described a meeting between then Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff and several members of Mexico's national security cabinet in which Mexican officials appeared to enthusiastically endorse the idea of surveillance flights. But publicly Mexican officials have been loath to speak about anything that could be perceived as impinging on the nation's sovereignty. In March, Mexican officials defended allowing U.S. surveillance flights and said a Mexican official was always present in the control room.

The Predator program now has one continuous patrolling zone from the Texas-Louisiana line, down the Gulf coast and up the border to El Centro, Calif.

U.S. Rep. Henry Cuellar, D-Laredo, who pushed to add the second unmanned aircraft in Texas and eventually hopes to have six based here, called them an "extremely important" part of the border enforcement mix of agents and technology.

"At that height out there, they can cover so much territory," he said.

Arizona will add its fourth Predator in Sierra Vista to help patrol from California to New Mexico and into West Texas. Eventually, one of the Texas aircraft will receive specialized maritime radar and concentrate on searching for smugglers in the Gulf of Mexico and western Caribbean.

For now, the Predator's greatest focus is along the US-Mexico border, where the drug war has increased concerns about spillover violence. They are especially valuable in night operations.

On that mission in the predawn hours Tuesday, the Predator guided agents tracking a group of six to eight illegal immigrants through thick clusters of oak trees and high grass an hour north of the Rio Grande. Seen through the agents' night-vision goggles the Predator cast a pillar of green light that illuminated two men lying in the undergrowth.

"It's awesome," Border Patrol agent Daniel Hernandez said. "It's a great asset to have here; something that made my job a little more efficient."

5 ways to help your pet live longer

We all want our pets to live long, healthy lives – and we'd all do just about anything to ensure that our cats and dogs can stay with us as long as possible. What five things can you do to keep your pet safe, happy, and by your side longer? We've listed them below, and chances are, you're probably on top of them already.

But one hint may surprise you…

Keep your furry friend indoors
Staying inside, or at least on a leash, protects your pet from all kinds of dangers. Indoor living shields cats from infectious diseases; digestive upset caused by snacking on poisonous plants or other foreign objects; fights with other cats, dogs, wild animals, or mean humans; and speeding cars.

And as pets age, they can't regulate their body temperatures as effectively, making them more prone to serious weather-related ailments like heat stroke if they're outdoors too long.

Of course it's fine to walk your dog, and the occasional (closely supervised) feline foray into the yard isn't the end of the world. But it's particularly important for cats to do their toileting inside; that way, the humans can monitor them for signs of tummy upset, urinary-tract issues, and so on.

Putting a "catio" in your window for bird-watching purposes, and planting cat grass in pots, can bring the outside in -- without compromising Fluffy's health.

Watch his weightObesity in dogs and cats causes the same serious health problems that it does in humans – high blood pressure, breathing problems, diabetes, and joint pain. It's not easy to put a portly pet on a diet, but NOT doing so could shorten his lifespan (and from a practical – and more selfish – standpoint, you really don't want to have to give a cat daily insulin injections).

If your dog or cat is on the spherical side, enlist your vet's help to change his diet. Invest in new toys for your cat that will get him more active, and try switching from "free feeding" to controlled portionsat specific meal times. Take dogs for longer or more frequent walks, and get strict about table scraps and extra biscuits.

Aging pets who have maintained normal weights for years may start to plump up as their metabolisms slow down. Changing your senior dog or cat's regular food to a formula that's higher in protein and lower in fat may help, and dogs may benefit from "nutriceutical" supplements. Again, consult with your vet.

Don't skip vet appointmentsIt's tempting to bail on the vet if your pet seems healthy – the exams, shots, and treatments can add up to a big yearly bill if you don't have pet insurance. But our pets can't tell us when they don't feel quite right, or whether that diarrhea is a passing thing or a symptom of something more serious. The vet CAN tell you – sometimes just by looking into your dog's eyes! 

As your pet ages, you may need to bring her in more frequently – every six months, instead of every year – for senior-wellness check-ups. Your vet is trained to spot conditions and concerns you can't see, and catching geriatric diseases or cancer early is the best way to find a treatment that time – quality time – to your pet's life.

Dental health is overall healthMost of these tips are common sense – but the importance of taking care of your pet's teeth may come as a surprise. It's the most common major health problem affecting cats and dogs, actually; the bacteria from dental and gum disease can travel elsewhere in their bodies, causing more serious issues.

With that said, we understand that you feel ridiculous brushing your cat's teeth. (And your cat feels even more ridiculous.) But it might seem less absurd if it adds years to your kitty's life. Check your pet's teeth and gums about once a week, if you can. Feed kibble and treats that promote dental health, and keep an eye out for signs of dental or gum disease, including bad breath, lethargy, decreased appetite, weight loss, and facial swelling. Call the vet if you think your cat or dog is having trouble eating due to mouth or tooth pain.

And yes, brush your pet's teeth – using specially formulated brushes and pastes, not "people products." Some pets grow to love the fish-flavored toothpaste; others will fight you tooth and nail. (Forgive the pun.) Even if it's a battle, remind yourself that it's worth fighting – bad teeth can reduce your dog's lifespan 2-4 years in some cases.

Spay and neuter your petsSpaying or neutering your pet doesn't just prevent overpopulation. It can protect your pet down the line from various reproductive cancers  – of the prostate and ovaries, for instance. And some studies have shown that fixed pets live longer than "intact" pets, although scientists aren't quite sure why. 

We all love an adorable pile of puppies – but coo at pictures online, and get your pet spayed or neutered.

Sex Secrets Women Won't Share With Each Other

I recently joined a book club with a bunch of married women, most of them new friends. At the last meeting, after our requisite two-minute book critique, the topic changed to babies and, eventually, a very practical discussion of how often you need to have sex to make them. Then I threw out, "I don't know about you girls, but I certainly don't have sex every day anymore!" Everyone chuckled, a few mumbled "me neither," and then the room went silent. We all had an excited, if slightly tense, look on our faces, hopeful that someone would offer another PG-13 titbit. I pictured us refilling our wine glasses, tucking our legs under ourselves, and dishing on who's doing what, how often, where, and when. But we didn't. Someone mentioned Bethenny's baby, and just like that we were off on a Real Housewives tangent. The pregnancy talk we'd just had included details only a woman's gynaecologist should know, but talking about sex for fun? Crickets.

I can't help but think that if that room had been full of single ladies, things would have been very different. Before I got married, my friends and I talked freely, casually, even competitively about what we were doing in the bedroom. Those sessions were a way to bond, to commiserate, to laugh, to learn — and simply to have a good time. Rehashing reality TV is fun, but it's not the same kind of fun as hearing about the guy who wanted to lick barbecue sauce off your friend.

I'll admit that in some ways, it's understandable that we reel ourselves in once a guy becomes a permanent fixture. We're not just telling a funny/sexy/embarrassing story about "some guy"; we're talking about the person we chose to spend the rest of our lives with, the father of our children. Bottom line: We stop talking because it seems like the right thing to do. But is it? All those needs we had as single women — to bond and to learn — don't go away when we get married. If anything, they get bigger, because sex becomes more important. It doesn't take a Ph.D. to know that having sex is vital to keeping a marriage happy. Even a quickie can right wrongs and do what no couples counselor ever could. And though your sex life might be good (you know what works, what you want to try, and what you'll never do — never, babe), that doesn't mean it couldn't get even better. So why not talk about it?

The times I've opened up about sex with my married friends have been kind of amazing. Once, a friend who'd just had a baby mentioned not wanting to have sex or even be touched. Um, been there! We launched into a libido comparathon that made us both feel better about our ebbs and flows. Another time, I told a few friends about a new position I'd picked up from being a guinea pig in a magazine's sex story, and we all benefited. (It's called "advanced missionary": He doesn't thrust — he just slides up and down. Seriously, try it.) And it's not just me who thinks sex talk is a good thing: "The biggest question women have when it comes to sex is, 'Am I normal?' That curiosity doesn't go away when we get married," says Linda Banner, Ph.D., a sex therapist in San Jose, CA. "Talking intimately with friends helps validate what you're experiencing, and helps you figure out if you have a problem that needs attention."

All that said, I know there should be some guidelines. Running things through the "Would I mind if my husband said something like this to a friend?" filter is a good idea. If we were having problems, I would try to share some good with the bad, so that I didn't make my husband out to be a dud in bed. And rather than dishing too many nitty-gritty specifics, I'd allude, insinuate, and imply — in other words, avoid burning any images into my friends' brains that they'll never be able to shake. And for those times when I just need to spill something that's too hilarious or embarrassing to be deemed appropriate, I'll try to find a friend who isn't likely to be joining our family for taco night anytime soon. Like, say, someone from book club.

BRITNEY TO TONE DOWN OUTFITS FOR ABU DHABI CONCERT

US pop star Britney Spears will tone down her stage costumes and risqué dance routines in respect to the UAE’s Muslim culture when she plays in Abu Dhabi this month, a source said.

The pop princess is the opening act for the emirate’s Formula 1 after-race concert, headlining a bill that includes Beatles star Paul McCartney, US band Incubus and British outfit The Cult.
A source close to the star told Arabian Business that Spears would amend her performance to avoid offending local customs during her Yas Island show.

A review of Spears’ Femme Fatale concert tour in British newspaper the Daily Mail said the American singer wore “skimpy costumes… showing off her stomach, legs, and as much else as she could get away with.

“The singer bared a great deal of midriff throughout the show, at one point wearing only a pink sequined bikini top on her upper half, paired with the briefest of denim hot pants.”
Britney, who has sold more than 100 million records worldwide with hits such as ‘Baby One More Time’ and ‘Toxic’, is set to play on 11 November.