Kim Kardashian Wedding Details: The Dress, The Vows, The Hilarious News Report!

Did you hear that Kim Kardashian got married to Kris Humphries last night? It's true. It was a small ceremony, with just a few friends and very little fuss and.... JUST KIDDING!!!
There were 450 guests. Millions were spent. Millions more were earned by the participants, and we've got all the details below. First, though, we present the CNN report that almost made this ridiculous affair worthwhile. Check out the kid in the background:

As for the ceremony itself, with facts courtesy of E!, which will present live coverage of the wedding tonight? Deep breath...

• Kim donned a strapless, ivory Vera Wang dress with a long train.
• She wore Guiseppe Zanotti shoes.
• Kris Humphries sported a Ermenegildo Zegna tuxedo, with black pants, a white shirt and a white bow tie.
• Lorraine Schwartz designed the wedding rings.
• Kim's party, all in ivory, consisted of Khloé Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian , Kylie and Kendal Jenner and Kris' sister, Kaela Humphries.
• A passage in the program, written by Kim, read: "I so wish my dad could be here today to walk me down the aisle. But I know in a way he is here, and I feel his loving presence all around me. I love and miss you, dad."
• What does Kim love most about Kris? She told the pastor before the event and it was then relayed to guests: he puts a smile on her face, is the "yin to her yang" and other cliches.
• Kris loves Kim's compassion and how dedicated she is to family.
• The ceremony, which included helicopters flying overhead at all times, concluded with a prayer. No truth to the rumor that it started with: Dear Lord, cha-ching! Thank you for creating E!, Twitter and Facebook....

People Magazine paid around $1 million for the rights to the wedding photos, which will be published in this week's edition.